


Forever Faithful

by Ravenhoot



Series: Illusion and Devotion [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 19:08:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenhoot/pseuds/Ravenhoot
Summary: Sigyn has always remained faithful to Loki, no matter what he has done. When he reveals to her that he has been in disguise as Odin since his supposed death on Svartelfiem, how will she react?Takes place during Thor: Ragnarok.





	Forever Faithful

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place during Thor: Ragnarok right before Thor returns to Asgard.

Seeing the reenactment of Loki’s death caused Sigyn to break down in tears, shaking uncontrollably between sobs as she fled from the outdoor theater pavilion for the privacy of her chambers. Her lead handmaiden Alethia attended her. 

This wasn’t the first time she had seen the performance and she doubted it would be the last, but recently, it had been affecting her worse than when she first saw it. She supposed it was due to the approaching anniversary of his death. Why the Allfather insisted on regaling the court with that same performance was beyond her. Sometimes, she felt like he was punishing her for being his wife and by having he re-watch the overly dramatized death of her husband kept the wound open. _And festering_ , she thought bitterly. Sometimes she could sense Loki’s mannerisms in the Allfather. But then she would chide herself and remember that Odin lost his wife and son within days of one another. Though Odin was not Loki’s birth father, he had given an emotional testament to the court that Loki, his beloved son, had died a hero on Svartelfheim and would be remembered with honor as a son of Asgard.

“Why do you subject yourself to this pain, milady?” Alethia asked Sigyn tentatively as they approached her chamber doors.

“I cannot expect you to understand. Have you ever committed yourself to anyone? Promised your unconditional love for all eternity?” Sigyn retorted.

“No, milady. I cannot imagine the loss you’ve endured. Just... it is truly remarkable that despite all of his deceiving and his cunning trickery, your devotion to him has never wavered. It is not my place to say milady, but he did not deserve you.”

Sigyn had no reply. She had heard all of this before and was willing to wager she would hear them again. Silent tears leaked from the corners of her amethyst eyes as Alethia carefully unlaced Sigyn’s dress and unwove her long honeycomb hair from the intricate braid she wore for court—tasks formerly done with her husband’s tender hands. He’d had no shortage of faults, but she had never doubted his love for her.

 

***************************************************************

 

Loki, still disguised as Odin, watched her depart the plaza with a pained expression. Following the performance, he exchanged empty pleasantries with various members of court. Volstagg approached him with gusto and said, “Allfather! A stirring performance by the court’s theater, as always!”

“Indeed,” Odin replied curtly.

“I must say, I have never before seen you so interested in the arts but you’ll not hear me complain! Where there is theater, there are banquets, and any excuse to serve up a roast pig is fine by me!”

Loki sniffed inwardly. Volstagg always did have a seemingly unending gut that he indulged with copious amounts of food and wine. “Well, do not stop enjoying the festivities on my account! Go, eat, drink, and be merry. Alas, I must see to my good-daughter. It would seem today's performance left her distraught,” he replied goodheartedly.

“Ah yes," Volstagg nodded somberly. "The Lady Sigyn is not handling it well at all, it would seem. She was so close to our queen and to lose Loki so soon after... Just terrible. And as Thor is on Midgard, she is your only family remaining."

Odin/Loki warmly grasped Volstagg by the shoulder for a moment and nodded curtly. Loki had taken no more than two steps away before Volstagg was asking the nearest maidens if they’d like to hear one of his heroic tales. _Idiot_ , Loki thought. He made his way to Sigyn’s chambers.

Outside her room, a member of the Crimson Hawks stood guard. He moved aside to grant Odin/Loki passage. Loki entered into a formal parlor and turned to one of her handmaidens.

“I would speak with the Lady Sigyn,” he said with a commanding voice.

“Of course, Allfather.” She beckoned to the other two servants, who hastily shuffled out the door.

Loki steeled himself for what he knew he must do. It was not in his original plan to reveal himself to anyone, especially her. He knew she would be furious. She would likely hate him for all eternity. She would probably alert the guards to his guise and he would be sent back to the dungeons for eternity, only this time he would no longer have the comforting visits from his mother. He felt a stab in his heart for the loss of Frigga, remembering the last words he spoke to her…  

_“And am I not your mother?”_

_“… You’re not.”_

How that final exchange had haunted him. He had lied to her and to himself, falsely thinking if he refuted his mother’s love, he would be better equipped to live with his solitude in prison. At the time, he'd assumed he would be able to rectify things with Frigga later. But he never saw her again. He never got to apologize to her and tell her that, in truth, he loved her. That aside from his wife, Frigga was the only other person who had his love.

Frigga was gone; Loki would never be able to make things right with her. Sigyn had to know the truth. He figured the worst that could happen if he revealed himself to her is that his sentence of eternity in the dungeons would be reinstated. Spending the rest of his life locked away was a small price to pay, he decided. Seeing Sigyn’s raw sorrow and grief today had broken what little resolve he had left at keeping himself disguised from her.

He had tried to kill his love for her long ago, when he’d started down the path of no return in his assault on Midgard. Another lie he’d told himself. He thought if he could convince himself that he no longer loved his wife, he would have nothing to lose and could be more ruthless, more cutthroat. That he could do all The Others and Thanos expected of him. All of the walls he had built dissolved the first (and only) time she had come to visit him in his prison cell. He was skilled at lying and deceit but somehow had never mastered the skill of lying to himself. His mother had been right about that... he was perceptive of everyone but himself. His Sigyn, his beloved wife, faithful to a fault. No matter what he did, her love for him never weakened.

Taking on the disguise of Odin had seemed like an ingenious plan, albeit an impulsive one. Frigga was dead, Thor had decided to pass up the throne and live on Midgard with his human. There was no one left who mattered to him so he could assume the role of the Allfather with ease. He had never imagined that Sigyn would remain on Asgard after his death was announced. He fully expected her to return to Vanaheim to live among her family. Granted, her mother was detestable, but she was close with her father and uncle. She was not given the title Goddess of Fidelity for nothing. Despite becoming a widow and having no legitimate reason to remain on Asgard, she stayed nonetheless. All of this he pondered as he stood in the parlor waiting for her to emerge from her private rooms. He still had no idea what he would say to her. All he knew was that she deserved to know the truth.

“Allfather? Alethia said you wished to see me,” Sigyn said as she emerged from her inner chamber. She had been crying—she’d tried to hide it but her eyes were still swollen and red. She smoothed her skirt subconsciously and crossed her hands at her waist, waiting for him to speak. She was slightly nervous. She had never been particularly close to Odin. His general distaste for Loki had prevented her from ever bonding with him as she'd done with Frigga. She assumed he was here to scold her for making a scene at the theater. 

The early afternoon light shone in through the window and cast a soft amber glow about the room. The silk thread in the tapestries upon the wall shimmered. A glint of light caught his eye from the partially open bedroom door. He turned slightly to see the light from the window reflecting off of his old horned helmet. It sat on Sigyn's bedside table, always within reach as she slept. This was the moment for him to tell her.

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He closed it, tried again, but to no avail. His mouth grew dry and he felt dizzy and slightly nauseous. Still unable to find the words to tell her, he simply released the glamour spell that portrayed him as Odin. The air rippled as he changed. The broad shouldered figure of Odin melted away to reveal his true form. Loki was slightly taller than the Allfather, but leaner. His onyx hair fell slightly past his shoulders in loose waves and his eyes changed from sky blue to a deep emerald.

Sigyn let out an audible gasp. She staggered backwards and collapsed onto a chaise lounge, her brows furrowed, and her eyes lost in thought. Loki tentatively waited for her to speak, bracing himself for the rage that was sure to come. When she looked up at him, her eyes brimmed with fresh tears. At last, she spoke.

“You’re alive.”

Loki waited for her to continue, but she seemed to have nothing else to say. This was not what he expected.

“Sigyn, please, let me explain.”

“Explain what? That clearly, every time someone chided me for being loyal to you and that you were undeserving of my love, they knew better than I did? That you’d go on letting me believe you were dead not once but twice.That you’d forsake my love so long as you had your precious throne?”

She said all of this with pain etched in every syllable. She never raised her voice or became hysterical. In truth, Loki would have preferred her to scream at him rather than face the hollow disappointment she gave him.

“I did not come here to ask your favor or forgiveness. I understand there are some things which are unforgivable.”

“Then why did you come here?”

“Because you don’t deserve to be a grieving widow for the rest of your days. You deserve to smile in the sun and savor in the joys of life. I admit I relished at finally having a throne, and you may not believe me, but you mean more to me than any throne ever could.”

Sigyn snorted. “If that were true, you would not have waited so long to reveal your true self, _husband,_ ” she snapped, filling the last word with as much contempt as she could. Her emotions were at war within her. She wanted to be furious at him and never forgive him while at the same time, she wanted to rush into his arms and never let go. _How was it possible to feel so many positive and negative emotions about someone at the same time?_ She wondered. 

“Sigyn, I came here to release you from any vow or commitment you made to me.” He hadn't realized he was going to say that, but once he did, he knew it was the only way he could attempt to make amends to her. He knew there was no way she could love him like before. It nearly killed him to think of losing her but he could not continue to keep her bound to him when all he did was cause her pain. 

She exhaled a breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding. Sorrow masked her face briefly, but she recovered herself the next moment and said, “Yes, I suppose it would be easier on your conscious to take a string of paramours if you were no longer wed.”

It was Loki’s turn to be shocked. “Is that what you think? You think I wish to be rid of you so I can fill my bed with meaningless concubines?”

“I don’t know what to think, Loki.”

“Sigyn, please. I need you to hear me out. Afterwards, I will give you whatever you want, even if that includes my re-imprisonment.”

She raised her eyebrows to indicate she was listening.

“I returned from Svartlefheim wounded, but alive. By the time the Crimson Hawks found me, Thor had already taken his human off world. Without Thor’s testimony that I had fought with him and not against him, I knew they would send me back to the dungeons. I used my glamour to take the form of a guard after I had immobilized him with a simple but powerful sleeping spell and hidden him away until I had spoken to Odin. What happened next was rash and ill thought out. My seiðr was wavering, probably due to my injuries. Odin saw through my disguise and before I thought of the consequences, I overpowered him and cloaked his memory. I sent him to Midgard to a facility that cares for the old, feeble, and addled minded.”

He paused to gauge her reaction. So far, she had remained expressionless, listening to his story with her eyes unfocused on the floor.

“I wanted to reveal myself to you that same day. But there were too many variables outside my control. I cannot tell you the number of times I have stood outside this very parlor door trying to find a way to tell you. For a while, I had exactly what I’d thought I had wanted. But each passing day my seemingly creative plan withered into regret. My witty repartee turned to ash in my mouth as I realized I could never share it with you. A throne is a lonely place to be without one’s queen. I fully intended to relinquish the throne once I had found a way to set things right and restore Odin’s memory. But I realize that I caused you irreversible heartache along the way. You must believe it was not my intention. No matter how I played it out in my head, I could never devise a solution that did not include your sorrow. That is why I will release you from your vows to me. Because I am no longer worthy of them.” His voice nearly broke as he finished speaking. He stood dejectedly, awaiting her sentence. For that is what it would be for him.  

Sigyn regarded him for a few moments, but to Loki, it felt like a thousand years. She sighed. She wanted to hate him, to put her hands around his throat and throttle him. To make him feel every ounce of pain and suffering she had felt. But that was not who she was. _Why,_ she asked herself, _can I not just be furious at him?_ Suddenly, she recalled a conversation she’d had with Frigga shortly before she wed Loki. She had been pinning her hair up while Frigga helped her. She asked her soon-to-be good-mother if she was a fool for always forgiving Loki’s follies.

“You two are well matched for one another because you compliment one another’s shortcomings. He needs you just as much as you need him. Remember that,” Frigga had told her.

 _Because that isn’t who you are,_ she chided herself. _You knew from the start that Loki’s nature was to have satisfaction just out of reach. That no matter what he achieved or acquired, it would never be enough and he would be on to the next venture. You should be grateful that despite that, he never sought another to take your place._

She stood from the chaise and crossed the room. She took his left hand in her own and laid her open palm to his cheek. 

“So what do we do?” She asked.

For a moment, Loki looked confused. It almost sounded as if she forgave him. But that couldn't be. She had always forgiven him in the past, but this time, he had gone too far and there could be no way he would ever find himself in her good graces again. 

“We?” He asked, trying and failing to keep the question from sounding hopeful.

“Yes, Loki. _We._ I reject your suggestion to disband our vows. I may be angry with you, but anger is a fleeting emotion. In a few hundred years, I’m sure it will have abated and I will have all new reasons to be furious with you,” she said.

Loki stared at her as if seeing her for the first time. He raised his eyebrows as if to ask if she were serious. She returned his gaze with a smirk as her amethyst eyes deepened to violet, her telltale sign that she was in a mischievous mood. Without warning, Loki seized her by the waist and lifted her off her feet, spinning around as she shrieked with surprised delight. As he brought her back down, he kissed her. She looked up at him and tilted her head to the side, inviting him to continue. He laid a hand on her waist and slid it around to her lower back, pulling her closer to him. With his other hand, he gently brushed a stray curl from her face. He ran his thumb lightly over her cheek and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes and a content sigh escaped her lips. A sharp knock on the parlor door withdrew them from their reverie.  

“Damn,” Loki whispered into her hair.

They broke apart hastily. Sigyn smoothed the creases from her gown and ran her fingers through her hair to tame it. Loki resumed his guise of Odin as Sigyn opened the door. Alethia stood on the other side.

“Oh! Begging your forgiveness, Allfather. I did not realize you were still with the Lady Sigyn.”

“No matter, Alethia," Sigyn said lightly. "The Allfather and I took a few private moments to share in our grief. My good-father and I both miss Loki terribly, you know.” She felt a pang of guilt for lying to her friend. Alethia had kept her secret when she first fell in love with Loki. Sigyn resigned to tell her, just not tonight. 

“Of course, milady. Please forgive my intrusion. I was coming to see how you’d like your evening bath prepared and if you’d prefer to take your supper in the dining hall or in private tonight.”

“Alethia, my faithful handmaid, you work tirelessly to see that all of my needs are met. I should like to give you the evening off. I’ll just take a light tray of cheese and fruit with a carafe of wine in my chambers.”

“Oh milady, are you sure? It’s no trouble at all. I am happy to serve you.”

“You excel beyond your duties, Alethia. And you are a dear friend to me. Go and enjoy yourself for the evening. I will see you back here tomorrow when I need to dress for court.”

“As you wish, milady,” Alethia said with a curtsy. They could hear her passing along Sigyn’s request for food and wine to a kitchen servant down the corridor as her footsteps faded away. When they were sure she was gone and the door was secured once more, Loki dropped his disguise and gave his wife an impressed look.

“As I live and breathe I never thought I would see the day when the Lady Sigyn, Goddess of Fidelity and Honesty, would be so deceptive,” Loki said with a glint in his eyes.

“This is only the beginning, husband. If we are to keep up this ruse, we shall have to be exceedingly careful,” Sigyn answered.

“Go,” she told him. “Go tell the Crimson Hawks an excuse as to why you should not be disturbed for the remainder of the evening and return here at a quarter past the hour. If you could spare some extra magic to plant an illusion of Odin sleeping in your chambers, that would be all the better.”

Loki smiled at his wife’s cunning. He wasn’t sure how they would continue this charade, but they would at least be reunited, if only for tonight.

“You’re going to make me pay for keeping you in the dark, aren’t you?” He asked her roguishly.

“Oh indeed,” she answered with fire burning behind her violet eyes. “I hope you are well rested, husband, for I fear you shall get little sleep tonight.”


End file.
